We are Different; We are One

“He is not my enemy. He is my friend.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg

I feel both amused and perplexed by the curiosity surrounding the friendship between the late Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia. Throughout their shared time on the bench, often they argued opposing positions on key issues. In an interview with The Aspen Institute, the moderator explored with Justice Ginsburg their relationship as if it was an endangered species. Her response shed light on what is not really a secret; perhaps we’ve just forgotten the wisdom. Their differences never divided them. Rather their shared personal and professional interests nurtured their connection, creating a secure context in which they could argue their individual opinions. Their relationship was the focus of a comic opera Scalia/Ginsburg. Ginsburg referred to a scene in the opera to explain how their relationship succeeded. When questioned why she should want to help Justice Scalia, given he was her enemy, the Ginsburg character replied, “He is not my enemy. He is my friend.” The Ginsburg and Scalia characters sang a duet entitled “We are different. We are one”…one in their shared love for the Constitution and the institution they served.

Do you and your friends, family, or colleagues experience times of disconnection, particularly over such things as different positions, power imbalances, beliefs, or agendas? Have those chasms grown and appear too broad to bridge? What have been the impacts of these divisions on you personally and professionally, on your organization, and how your organization is perceived by others? Have you felt the harsh disconnected energy within your communities, our government, nation, or world? Do you notice yourself increasingly anxious, fearful, angry, or overwhelmed? Do you see enemy on a face that could be a friend? Does connection — professional and personal — seem to be like an endangered species?

Pause for a moment, and shift focus from the chasm within the divide to the common qualities held by all sides. Risk even briefly seeing how an enemy could be a friend. Look beyond dissimilarities to recognize shared values, common interests, the wisdom all sides bring to the table to expand each side’s understanding of the big picture. Notice the sublime and the simple commonalities. Justices Ginsburg and Scalia shared a love for the Constitution, the law, as well as mutual respect, collegiality, humor, family, and the opera. What could it look like if you bridged the divides most significant to you right now? Whether members of the same family, team or diverse organizations or communities, what are you willing to do to eliminate the chasms that hold you back from achieving your highest potential and most significant contributions to our world? How are you willing to support bringing collegiality and true connection back from the brink of extinction? After all, we are different; yet we are one.